It’s an age-old question one that has many perspectives and many answers, but not one definitive answer. Each of us has our own beliefs and answers about these questions based on what we have learned from family, friends, peers, news, experiences, school, religion and more. And while we believe we have the answers they are only the answers we have for ourselves because it suits us. So just don’t try to shove your beliefs down my throat to make me believe what you believe. As Socrates said, I can’t teach you anything, I can only make you listen. Teach me what you know and perhaps I will believe.”

Truly this is not a discussion about “Where Did We Come From?,” although I hope I got your attention. What this is about is “Who Are We?”

I’d ask you to close your eyes and visualize what I’m about to say, but then you couldn’t read this. Visualize the very first person that comes to your mind that you truly love from your heart. It could be anyone from a parent, or child, or spouse, or significant other. It doesn’t matter who this person is. How does that feel? Hopefully you have a huge smile and can’t wait to see them again. Now how would it feel if you lost that person in this very moment?

You see until there is a tragedy when someone we love goes missing for a moment or forever I don’t believe we take enough time to tell him or her how much they mean to us. How much we love them. But life is more than saying the words and having the feeling, it is about acting with good conscience, compassion, understanding and with love. Love that allows you to give without having or expecting to receive anything in return, because in giving to those that you love you are fulfilled.

This is true for every person on this planet, yet somehow we are ready to take someone’s life, sometimes for the most illogical reasons without considering if the roles were reversed how you would feel. We have this unique ability to distance ourselves from our brothers and sisters on this planet and have malice towards them just because we believe differently. Believe it or not we are ALL connected and we are all made of the same stuff, ATOMS! As Mother Theresa once said, “the problem with the world is that we draw our family circle too small.”

Life has so many facets to it and this is only one piece. Yet it is the most important piece of our lives. Let’s go beyond our immediate family and friends. Regardless of your beliefs in a higher power or whether you are religious, or spiritual, or your beliefs are based in science doesn’t matter. None of these matter. If you have watched the movie #TheFifthElement you have some idea of what I’m talking about. Do you remember right in the beginning when one of the aliens says, “Time not important. Only life important.”

Yes Life! Not just yours or mine, but all of life! Then there is LeeLoo much later on who is the Fifth Element, when she says to Korben Dallas, “What’s the use of saving life when you see what you do with it? Yes, we do the most horrific things to one another for no good reason.

We are all the same. Even if you think you are smarter, better looking, healthier, or more financially secure than someone else there will always be someone above you and someone below you. We are always in the middle. I think we can all agree that every human on this planet has the same physical internal structure, and that is our genes, our DNA.

I often refer to our bodies as a “meat suit.” You may relate to it as our birthday suit. It’s what we were born in. Yet we so often set ourselves apart from one another because we have some outward differences. In another line from “The Fifth Element ,” the police asked Korben Dallas, “Are you classified as a human?” and he replies, “Negative, I’m a meat Popsicle.” In a way that is exactly what we are. Our covering makes us look different, however we are all made of the same stuff.

So why is it that we look at one another like we look at the cover of a book and make judgments about what we contain. Just like a book, unless we have at least read the inside cover or the first few pages we will never know if we really like that book or not. The same holds true for getting to know one another. Our outer cover tells us little if anything about the other person. Yet we are so very quick to judge someone before they speak a word. Do you know that we size up a person in the first 10 seconds of meeting them? How many times have you been surprised after having a dialogue?

Let’s face it, we will not agree with everyone about everything and we don’t have to. That we see things differently is okay. That we have differences and may not feel the same way about someone else or something else is also okay. Just don’t let our differences get in the way of understanding and allowing. In our differences we can and often do make life better for others.

I ask you, just like Mother Teresa to expand your family, because in the end we are all family all wanting the same things, which is understanding, compassion, respect, help, love and at least the basics in life, which is food, water and shelter.

Ponder how you treat your fellow human along the road you travel and do your best each day to make friends and not enemies. Go about life with a big Smile and give a little of yourself each day to someone else and get to know them. How you and I make this world a better place depends on all of us, so be the positive change you wish to see in the world.

Blessings and Love to All!

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi 

Which of these two actions would you prefer? Every morning when you wake up you would immediately be reminded of some past indiscretion and start your day being upset and angry or every morning when you wake up you would wake up refreshed, smile, and be excited about what you will accomplish and all the people you will help? If you have a hard time answering this question you and I have a lot of work to do.

Forgiveness is a greater gift to yourself than to the person you forgive. You have a choice every morning to start fresh by not letting the past creep into the present. To live in the moment and have your future be bright and beautiful.

In doing this you let go of anxiety, anger and fear and release the toxins those thoughts create in your body. Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Sure, it’s easy to find justification for not forgiving someone for something you believe they deliberately did to hurt you. But allowing this injustice to live in your head is like giving someone the freedom to come into your home and trash it each day. These thoughts just eat away at you. It does not affect the other person in the slightest.

Negative thoughts eat away at your life, your happiness and your peace. How many days, weeks, months, years or decades have you been poisoning yourself? Do you want to continue doing that?

I can tell you firsthand that forgiveness is freedom. Like you I have been hurt by my parents, by my sibling, by my children, by my friends, by my coworkers, and even acquaintances. Mind you some of these were just off-the-cuff remarks, some were deliberate assertions even if they were done jokingly and some were just my perception. Yet I allowed them to live in my head, free of charge for years. The only thing that I got from holding onto those thoughts and experiences was upset, which contributes to ill health.  FREEDOM is letting go and truly healing yourself!

Understand that these memories don’t go away I just don’t let them control me. When I finally learned to let it go and to forgive them and myself I became free, happier, lighter, and at peace. There is a saying that goes this way. Let it go, let it be, and let God (handle the situation).

Do you want to be more relaxed and anxiety free today? Say yes, then every time a thought comes to you about someone who hurt you say I forgive you, mean it and let it go. Get on with your life and be positive.

This will take practice, but I guarantee you that if you say, “I forgive you” and really mean it you will feel a lightness come over you like never before. You will no longer be handcuffed to the past and you will be free to live in the present.

HEALTHY loving relationships are not possible without forgiveness! You cannot have a loving and rewarding relationship with anyone, much less yourself, if you continue to hold on to negative things that happened in the past. Regardless of the situation, making peace with past partners, parents, children, boss or anyone who you think may have “done you wrong” is the only way to improve your chances of a “healthy” relationship with yourself or anyone else for that matter!

One more time, who is it that immediately comes to mind who harmed you? Are you willing to truly forgive him or her? If you said “Yes” then say I forgive you. Now tell me how do you feel? Do this until you really forgive, then you will be free. Perhaps the next time you speak to them you will have a better conversation. Perhaps now is the time to call.

“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” – Marianne Williamson

As most of us realize, nature works perfectly without the intervention of man because each part of life has its designated function.  There is not one part of creation that does not affect the well-being of the other; each part depends on the well-being of all other parts.  All creatures of nature are independent and inter-dependent of one another. To overpower, manipulate or destroy another because you can, is surely the way to destroy yourself.  Man must fully recognize and appreciate this idea or principle or we will all perish.

Yes, we may be at the top of the food chain, but being on top comes with great responsibility. Being at the top of anything presents us with an obligation to lead. To be a leader we must lead by example and to make sure that our prime directive is to be sure that everyone and everything thrives, not just survives.

As a primary example there are companies that manufacture, sell, and distribute products that they know are not safe or healthy and are harmful to man and the environment, just so they can make a profit.  While we blame the company, as if it is a sentient being that has command over us, it is the people running the company who make these decisions. How is it that these same people ignore the fact that they will also be affected by these harmful products? How can they believe that they are outside of this circle and that these products will not affect their families, friends and co-workers?

We may all agree that profits are necessary, however greed should not override the obligation of producing something that will not be harmful to any species and the environment. The “what” you do is one thing; the “how” you do it is another. What you are doing is making a product of which the sales and profits will support the people who work there and the investors.  How you make the product and how it affects others is at the root of a great company.

Trying to manipulate and shape the world out of greed and for power can have dire consequences? All around us, with just a quick view of the news you see the results. What are we actually achieving? We use profits as an excuse and put money on a pedestal to worship as we manipulate people and resources, which threatens our environment wreaking havoc and destruction on the planet and ourselves.

Security

Lack of feeling secure or experiencing fear and anxiety will cause mental and physical illness. For us to feel better and feel secure there are three main areas to address.

• Finances – Having the confidence that you are not going to lose your job or your house.
• Health – Is learning to eat properly and get the right nutrition so your body will look after you for years to come.
• Safety – Having a comfortable place to stay in living in an area where you feel reasonably safe walking the streets or living with a partner that looks after you and won’t harm you.

Adversity

Life is unpredictable and uncertain and we need to be able to control our emotions and to rebound as quickly as possible. When adversity strikes here are a few ways to manage any hardship.

• Control – Is learning to check your motions and understanding how to act and not react. How and when to be assertive and how to make the right decisions by accepting what you can influence and what is in your control.
• Relax – When the unexpected happens it is not the end of the world and there is always a way out. Relaxing allows you to think clearly and not act hastily.
• Focus – Don’t get distracted and look at all the other parts of your life that are going well, breathe, assess the situation and if need be get help from a trusted source.

Significance

Significance is not about being number one, it is about feeling accepted and valued at work, or with family or friends. How do you maintain that feeling of acceptance?

• Groups – Join or start a group this could be anything that you enjoy doing that will connect you with like-minded people. A good way is to start or join a Meetup group.
• Volunteer – Consider volunteering for something that is important to you.
• Donate – Give your time or money to a cause that you align with.

Solitude

Everyone needs some alone time to read, write, study, listen to music or watch whatever is important or just to reflect on your life’s experiences. Here’s what to consider:

• Space – Find a place where you feel secure and where you will not be disturbed. It could be indoors or outdoors.
• Quiet – To be relaxed your space should be free of distractions. Consider leaving your phone at home or at least turn it off.
• Meditate – To really get in touch with yourself learn how to meditate. It is calming, soothing, freeing and contributes to your overall mental and physical health and well-being.

Relationships

We all need a special connection to one or more people. This could be a friendship, a love interest or someone to share fun times. It’s a way to share your ideas, hopes, and dreams with at least one other person. Here’s how to find that type of connection.

• Importance – Someone who values who you are.
• Appreciation – Someone who understands you and is willing to listen.
• Laughter – Someone who you can laugh with and share stories with.
• Attention – Someone who you can talk to about your future, about where you’re going and your passions. Try to avoid talking about day-to-day issues such as money work or the kids.

Harmony

Harmony is about paying attention to all parts of your life. Your life is just like an orchestra. An orchestra has many instruments playing at the same time that each one plays at the right time and the right note to have a complete and pleasing sound. It is the same for you. If you skip paying attention any of these parts of your life the sound you produce, the quality of your music will not be very pleasing. Here’s what you need to pay attention to, to have harmony.

• Relationships – Are about spending time and paying attention to people in your life whether it is your significant other, children, parents or friends.
• Health – Means eating right, exercising or getting the right amount of quality rest.
• Finances – Are balancing what you need against what you want. It’s too easy to buy now and pay later. Consider the future consequences of that mentality.
• Spirituality – While it is not the same and doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone is about your connection to a higher source, having faith that all will be well and being centered to allow a certain peace to flow over you knowing that we are all one.

Success

Success is not about how financial rich you are and is not the same for everyone. It is not about you measuring up to another. Success in life has to do with how you feel about yourself and how you measure up to your own standards. Here’s what success looks like.

• Confidence – It is about using your abilities and seeing that you are making progress in life and achieving things.
• Purpose – Is what you’re doing in alignment with your thoughts. That you are headed in the right direction and that the future you see for yourself is on track.
• Achievement – It’s that feeling that you’ve accomplished something, anything that you started and completed. It could be a primary or secondary goal. It could be your vocation or your avocation. Achieving any goals set whether it is a daily, weekly or monthly goal will provide meaning to your life and set you up to achieve long-term goals

Finally, don’t be so rigid in your thoughts about your life. Be willing to make changes and be flexible and adaptable. Life is to be experienced and what you want today may not be what you want, need or desire tomorrow. Keep an open mind, be generous with yourself and others, always do your best and infuse love into everything you do.